Overview
Just like sex means many different things to different people, selling sex is also very different for different people. Whatever the reason, it’s always good to have some advice on how to make the sex act feel more ok. The tips below come from people who have experience of selling sex.
Anal sex
If you are bottoming, there are ways of making anal sex feel better, even if you are not sexually excited. Most importantly, try to relax your body and not be tense. Some find it easier to “warm up” first with a little lubricant and a finger, for example. Do it before meeting a client, if possible.
Some positions give you more control of the situation. This can be a good idea, especially with a new customer or a large penis. One position that gives you better control is if you “ride” the customer. Which positions are comfortable also depend on the shape of the penis. Find what works for you.
You decide the tempo, even if someone has paid you for sex. If you want to stop having sex, do so. You always have the right to stop. Just give the money back and leave.
If you are the topping, it’s important to have the right condom size. You can read more about different sizes of condoms here.
There is only one way to have safer anal sex – use a condom from the beginning to the end of the sex act. Make sure to always bring condoms and lubricant, so you don’t have to depend on the customer for that. If you will be penetrating, you just need to bring the condom type you prefer. If you will be penetrated, it’s important to bring different types of condoms, depending on how big the customer’s penis is. Some people are allergic to latex, so bring a plastic condom too.
You have to use lubricant that is water-based or silicone-based, because body lotions and other creams with fat in them can make the condom break. Single use packets of lubricant are hygienic, and you can order those for free from rodaparaplyet@rfslstockholm.se. When you are ordering, buy some condoms in different sizes too. We can only send condoms and lube to addresses in Sweden. We are currently unable to prescribe PrEP, please contact us for a referral to the nearest clinic in your region.
Oral sex
If you are going to suck a penis, choose a position where you can control the situation, where you choose the tempo and how deep you take the penis. If you choose to suck without a condom, choose a position where you can easily avoid getting the sperm in your mouth. Having this control also gives you freedom to move, if you need to get away from the situation quickly.
Sucking a penis without a condom means a very small risk of transmitting HIV. The risk is bigger if you get sperm in your mouth, or if the person you are sucking produces a lot of pre-cum (pre-ejaculate). It is always safer to use a condom when having oral sex.
Oral sex without a condom can also carry the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, no matter if the customer comes in your mouth or not. Most people signal that they are close to coming, by heavy breathing or by saying “I’m going to come”. Then, you can stop sucking and use your hand instead, to avoid getting sperm in your mouth.
Sometimes, a customer will be willing to pay more for sex without a condom. If you communicate clearly from the start that you use condoms, the risk is smaller that they will want to change this when you meet. Make your own rules and stick to them, that’s best for you.
Rimming
Rimming means licking someone or being licked around the anus. For this, take a shower just before meeting a customer, and ask the customer to do the same. Or stop and ask the customer to take a shower before you continue.
Rimming carries a low risk of transmitting HIV. However, other infections can be transmitted that way, for example gonorrhea, herpes and different types of hepatitis. HIV positive people are more sensitive to hepatitis C infection.
Dildos & Toys
Some customers like to play with sex toys and some trans men use dildos and strap-ons. (More trans specific issues will be posted soon.) It’s best if you bring the stuff, because then you can make sure that they are clean and the right size. Size is important if the toys will be used on you, a dildo that is too big can hurt. Always use water-based lubricant, that works with most types of sex toys.
Different materials feel different. Find out what you prefere. Toys made of silicone are more expensive, but easy to clean and often non-toxic. Do not use silicone-based lubricant on silicone toys, this can damage the surface of the toy and bacteria might settle there.
If you use the same stuff on more people than one, it’s important to clean the toys in between, or put a condom on the toy. Remember to change condoms between different bottoms. HIV and sexually transmitted diseases can be transmitted through toys.
Rough play
If a customer wants to buy rougher sex, such as BDSM or fetish play, they will usually say so before you meet. Decide if that is OK with you or not. If you feel unsure, say no. Trust your instincts.
Selling rougher sex as a bottom/a submissive carries a higher risk, especially if you sell to someone you have not met before. Try to get to know the customer a little and get a feel for their attitude before you start this kind of play. No matter if there is money involved, trust and safety is needed for BDSM.
