There are some things to think about before meeting a client, no matter if it is your first time selling sex or if you have done it before. First, think about what you are okay with doing, what rules and limits feel good for you. What types of sex are you okay with selling? Is kissing okay or not? How will you start talking about safer sex?
When you know the answers to those questions, you can make a deal with a client. Not before. And stick with the rules you have made for yourself, even if the client wants to pay more for things you have decided you do not want to do.
When it comes to safety, we have collected some tips from sex workers.
- If the client sounds drunk or high on the phone, or if they are drunk or high when you meet, you may want to leave. Do not meet client when you have taken drugs or drunk alcohol, it will be more difficult for you to see if a situation is dangerous. If possible, that is.
- Find out as much information about the client as you can before you meet, and save the information.
- Call a friend before meeting the client, and tell your friend the address, the phone number and other information about the buyer, and how long you will be meeting them. Call your friend afterwards too.
- Make sure that your mobile phone battery is charged (maybe an extra battry pack?) and that you have money on your phone card. Have some cash in your pocket so you can get home easily.
- Be anonymous. Use another name with your clients, use an unregistered prepaid phone card and a special anonymous email address.
- If you show your face in pictures, on Twitter or in a webcam, someone can save the pictures and the cam session and upload to porn websites. Some are ok with that, but just to let you know.
- If a client gives you a bad feeling, trust your instinct and leave.
- You always have the right to say no and cancel. Give the money back if the client gets angry. It’s better to lose some money than to deal with an aggressive client.
- If the client does something that you have not agreed on, tell them that it’s not okay, in words or body language. If the client does not show you respect, leave, even if it might make them angry. You and your rules deserve respect!
- If you work outside, make your deals away from the car, so that no one can pull you into the car by force.
- Do not work when you have not eaten. Hunger makes it difficult to make good decisions. Always have a fruit or a snack with you, and a bottle of water.
What’s the safest place to sell?
There are different opinions on this. Some people say that it’s safest to sell sex in your own home, but that means that the client knows where you live, which can be a problem. There is also a risk that you lose your apartment if someone finds out. But maybe your home is what makes you feel safest. A good option is to be in a hotel room that the client has booked. None of you is at home, and there are people close by if something goes wrong. Never book a hotel room in your name.
Doing an outcall in the client’s home always comes with a risk. The customer also has more power in their own home, and there might be things that can be used as weapons there.
Be careful. You are worth protecting.
These safety tips are inspired by Rose Alliance and Hook online.